so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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