Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize