Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize