i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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