It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
