just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
