So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
