The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
