What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
