He is an equal opportunity slut.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
