and you said cock pushups were impossible
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
