it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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