first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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