Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
