I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
