You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
