honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
