Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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