And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
They took my balls.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize