You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
