I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Randomize