Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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