And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
