ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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