would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
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