Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
