Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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