No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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