plz talk dirty to me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
