5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
