i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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