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Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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