I think scott just propositioned me for sex
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
