Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
