she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You can't special order awesome
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
