It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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