i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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