Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
