It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Non-Jews are for practice
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
