are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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