Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize