I CAN MOONWALK!
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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