Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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