guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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