Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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