if you like me you must not know who I am
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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