Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize