he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
