When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
