Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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