My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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