Do you still have your period?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
