i would punch a child for taco bell
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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