yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I need mimosas to revive my soul
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
