So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
