there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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