Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize