I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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