He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
