just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
