better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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