I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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