I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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