I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
