i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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