Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
