I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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