Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
