Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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