I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
