I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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